A Day in the Life with ADHD as an Adultier Adult: Part 2
Getting out the door
Hey, bud. Ok, you made a solid attempt at peeing in the potty, and were moderately successful, you may have a piece of... huh? No. Not fruit snacks. Actually, fruit snacks sound pretty good. But, no. Piece of chocolate, and your veggie pouch so I can get my "good mom" points for the day. God, I'm hungry. Why do we wake up so hungry? It's just rude. Also, coffee should just be *there* the moment my feet touch the floor instead of me having to work for it. Oh god! No, honey. You can't run around naked rubbing your butt on things because you think it's the funniest thing ever. Pants we have to pants. OH GOD, HOW AM I STILL NOT WEARING PANTS?!?!
Ok. Dad made your lunch last night. He gets major points. We HAVE to remember to let him have the last of the good cookies tonight, Eli. DAD GETS THE GOOD COOKIES. Cookies. We should go to Blue Baker when I pick you up from school today. That'd be fun! I can grab lunch, you can practice your manners. Manners. Miss Manners. Who the hell does she think she is to tell us all how to behave? We aren't doing so bad. Bad. Breaking Bad. Meh. I have other things to spend my valuable alone time on. Alone. Why am I alone? Eli! Sheila! Where are you two???? Oh god.
Ok. You two managed to hide in Sheila's crate for a solid 5 minutes without my noticing. Kudos, but pants, kid. You HAVE to pants. Geez. Ok. Sheila. I know you have to pee. Outside. Let's go outside. Outside. Think outside the box. What could I possibly bring to the table today that we haven't done yet? We're a dance studio. We're already quirky as a rule. Being EXTRA quirky is a tall order. Tall. My boss is tall. I wish I was tall. Being able to reach things at home without that frigging stool would be nice. Stool. Oh, god. What is that smell?
Ok, so we had to have a diaper change (even thought you're supposed to be going in the potty), but I can get you there before your class leaves to play in the big gym. Gym. I should join a gym. Preferably a 24/7 one. I could run safely at any time of the day or night. Night. What did you eat last night to produce a diaper of that magnitude? No matter. Let's go. We can do this. School. Work. Life.
Hey! I remembered pants this time!