I turned the big 3-0 a week ago today, and have been reflecting for that week on what exactly I've learned in those 30 years on our earth orb. I know you are all eager to hear my wise-ish musings, so here you go. 30 things I've learned in my 30 years!
1. Being kind matters. You would be surprised at how frequently previously grumpy people are so much more willing to help when you aren't a jerk.
2. Saying "no" isn't the worst thing ever. One of the hardest things I've had to learn/am learning is how to say no. Especially when it involves people that I care about.
3. Bacon goes well with just about anything. I shouldn't have to explain this one. If you disagree, that's fine. It just happens to be your turn to be wrong.
4. Listening to the wounded is far more important than providing answers. 9 times out of 10, the hurting person just needs an ear. They don't need your advice, they just need your focus and love. Listen.
5. It's ok to charge for my time. When it comes to my teaching and asking for payment, it's ok to ask for what you are worth. And I've (finally) figured out that I'm worth more than I thought. Time is precious. You're allowed to charge for it.
6. Being transparent is better than falsely convincing people that you're perfect. People tend to be much more inclined to forgive your mistakes if you don't start off by trying to convince them that you never make any.
7. Wine won't solve your problems....
8. But neither will water. So I'll be having another glass of both, please.
9. Spending time with someone is so much better than spending money on them. Don't get me wrong, I freely admit that I have expensive taste, and like a well-feathered nest. But if I have to choose between a new Thing or dinner with a friend, I'll choose dinner every time.
10. Walking away from toxic relationships is ok. It still sucks, and will be hard as f#ck. But getting out and getting healthy is so important.
11. I don't have to be beautiful all the time. Oof. This was a hard one to learn. Luckily I got there BEFORE becoming a mom, but. Pretty isn't something I owe the world simply because I can be. I'm allowed to live in sweats and eat an extra cookie sometimes. Anyone who says differently is welcome to kiss my posterior.
12. Don't be so quick to judge others. First of all, there are better things you can do with that energy. Secondly, unless you have walked in someone else's shoes you have no idea what they are dealing with.
13. Don't buy cheap shoes. ESPECIALLY when shopping for heels, you will get what you pay for.
14. Grown ups need to play pretend too. No, but really. Whether it's being in a play, or just getting on board with your kid's imagination games, do it. You'll feel so much happier, and y'know what else? It's good for your brain.
15. Being true to who you are is more important than "growing up". In fact, I've discovered that (for me, anyway) "growing up" really just means figuring out how to be myself, and make ends meet while doing so.
16. Being compassionate is better than being right. See #1. This world is too cruel already for that BS.
17. Don't be a snob. You might miss out on something awesome because your nose was up in the air.
18. You can only control your actions, not someone else's response to them. This is a hard lesson to learn for anyone, but it's so very important.
19. If a kid in your life says they have an idea, you'd better damn well give them your attention. It doesn't matter whether or not you take their suggestion. They will remember that you thought they mattered enough to listen to them. These people are going to be driving our planet soon. It'd be REALLY nice if they had the self esteem to do so.
20. Counting calories is dumb. And it's not honestly that helpful when it comes to your overall health.
21. Things will never "slow down". Like, ever. Stop waiting until you "have time" and just do the thing.
22. Clean out the freaking fridge. Like, daily. Otherwise things will grow friends. Those friends will grow more friends, and the next thing you know there's a moldy rave happening in your vegetable drawer.
23. Talking time for self care isn't selfish. If you don't take care of yourself, then you won't be functional enough to take care of others. Take a day off. Let someone else cook. Hire a babysitter. Whatever you have to do in order to do something for yourself, do it.
24. Get rid of that dress you've had since middle school. Even if it still fits, you won't be wearing it again.
25. It IS possible to have too many coffee mugs. If anyone was looking for the limit, I found it.
26. Stay on top of car maintenance. I know it's boring. I know that spending money on an oil change feels like a drag. But know what's worse? Being car-less for a week in July because your lazy self didn't take care of your oil and gas fueled baby.
27. Have at least one hobby that doesn't involve a screen. That may seem like a no brainer. And it should be. But we all have our days where we start watching Netflix in the morning, and then all of a sudden it's 8:30PM and oh my god, where did the day go???
28. Reusable shopping bags are freaking fantastic. Now if I could just remember to take them with me to the store...
29. Learn to set and stick to a budget. Again, this one should be nbd. But it's something I really struggle with. Ask the Hippie. I have to check in with him nightly to make sure I'm staying on track. God bless him.
30. Life is short. I'm old enough now that I've buried not just grandparents, but friends that should still be here, laughing and adulting with the rest of us. None of us knows just how much time we have, so make sure that you spend what time you DO have creating a life that you love.
Well, that's it. That's the wisdom that I've accumulated in the last 30 years. I hope you didn't roll your eyes too hard, and that I maybe made you smile a time or two. That's my favorite thing. Happy my 30th Birthday to you all!!!!